By Choice, not Chance

Dating, daunting as it is, 

has left me with 

more than just awkward encounters;

some,

rather amusing.

 

And there is this one

from almost eight years ago,

a story that never fails 

to lift the corners of my lips.

 

Let’s call him Mr. Not Right,

a lawyer,

twenty minutes late.

I was already pissed;

latecomers annoy me.

Still,

I chose to give it a real shot.

 

We sat,

Ordered.

The conversation

barely started,

and halfway through appetizers,

he popped a question:

“Why do you not have children

from your first marriage?”

 

A pause.

A jolt. 

More of a third or fourth date kind of question;

I admired his audacity.

 

Even though unprepared

I replied

 

"I do not want them."

"But why not?"

"Because I love my life as it is.

And I've never felt

the pull 

to have one."

 

The lawyer in him

Unconvinced.

He pressed on...

 

"But that's not a valid reason.

Is it because you don’t like sex?"

 

I laughed,

hard.

 

"Are you afraid of labor pain then?"

"I've never thought about it."

 

"What if at forty,

you regret it?

"I can adopt.

But I won't

trade my present

for a WHAT-IF."

 

"But……"

He continued.

 

By then,

I was checked out

my mind elsewhere.

 

I am forty-two now.

Still childfree.

Still certain. 

 

I have been questioned several times;

sometimes by strangers,

other times

by those near and dear.

 

And I still say,

calmly, clearly:

“I do not want them.”

A reason, 

valid.

Sole.

Complete.